Hermie

A few weeks ago, while I was picking out books to read to my girls before bed, I came across the book "Hermie" by Max Lucado.  If you have never read this book, I'll sum it up for you.  Hermie and his friend Wormie cross paths with an ant, a snail, and a lady bug.  All of them have different qualities that they wish that they had.  Each time they ask God why are they so common and not like the others.  God lovingly and gently reminds them that He loves them and He is not finished with them yet.  In the end, Hermie turns into a beautiful caterpillar and sees that God wasn't finished with Him yet (oops!  Did I ruin it for you?  Sorry!).  As always, God's timing is perfect!  He knew that I needed that reminder.  You see, in about 3 days I will turn 40.  I can tell you that I certainly thought that my life would look much different than it does today.  Don't get me wrong, my life is good.  I have everything that I need and more.  But, I really thought that I would be married by now.  All summer I have been seeing people that I mentored in the youth ministry that are anywhere from 15 to 18 years younger than me getting married.  Don't get me wrong.  I am very happy for them, but I find myself a lot like Hermie. "God, why did you make me so common?"  Then of course those thoughts pop into me head...am I not pretty/skinny enough?  Is it my personality?  Yes, I know that is all Satan.  My God tells me in Psalm 45:11 that He is enthralled by my beauty.  In Zephaniah 3:17 I am reminded that He delights in me.  Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, "Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.  He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end."  
This week, I have been spending a lot of time pouring my heart out to God.  My devo today reminded me that our feelings are not sinful, but if we are not careful, they can lead us to sin.  We are to trust God no matter how we feel.  I don't know about you, but I am so glad that I serve a BIG God.  He can take my disappointment or anything else that I throw at Him.  I may not have the big blowout that I was hoping for my birthday and I may still be single, but I am loved!!!  I am loved with an everlasting love!!  I have two beautiful daughters who love me and all my dysfunction!!!  :)  My goal is to focus on praising Him!  There are so many others who are going through so much more than me.  My "disappointment" is nothing compared to the heart ache that others are suffering with right now.  Comparing myself to others does not bring glory to God.  If I keep my focus on what I don't have, I will miss the wonderful blessings that are right in front of me!  Two of those blessings have names, Mia & Lyla.  

"Self-pity is a slimy, bottomless pit" (Jesus Calling).  Besides, what kind of example does that set for my girls?  How am I pointing them towards Jesus?  I am reminded of the old hymn, "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus":

1. • Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
     Look full in His wonderful face,
     And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
     In the light of His glory and grace.
     
     
     Seek Him!  He will never let you down!!!!
     
     
     Ann