Time

I knew that becoming a mom, especially a single mom would be hard.  What I didn't realize, was just how much about myself I was going to learn...the good, the bad, and the UGLY (picture the hyenas from the Lion King saying it)!!!!  We can all admit to an extent that we are all selfish, but I realized when I became a mom just how selfish I am.  When I prayed about becoming a Foster to Adopt mom, I specifically prayed that God would bring me a little girl that I could raise to have a heart like His.  A little girl that I could teach about purity and standing strong in our society, and to love and serve Jesus with all of her heart.  Wouldn't you know it...he gave me not one, but two beautiful daughters!!!  

Well, the Bible does say that he doesn't give us more than we can handle...  :)  LOL!!!  One of the many wonderful things about my job as a high school choir director, is that I get to have summers off with my girls.  I've learned this summer, that even though I'm tired, I can't be lazy.  If I want to be a good mom and raise girls that love others, have a good work ethic, are kind, give to others...are beautiful inside and out, I am going to have to make sacrifices.  It's not all about me anymore.  One of the most precious gifts that I am learning that I can give my girls, is my TIME!!!!  One day last week, I was reminded of this.  I was having a particularly lazy, "it's all about me" day.  I wasn't giving my girls the attention that they needed or deserved.  As a result, my oldest decided that she would get my attention, even if it meant hitting her sister a dozen times and being sent to time out.  By the end of the night I'd had it.  It was probably one of those times when I said, "Really God? Why don't I have a helpmate?"  As I was winding down for the night, I read a blog from a Christian blogger, Courtney Joseph (www.womenlivingwell.org) called, "Motherhood is a Huge Time Zapper."  Needless to say, I was very convicted and had to pour my heart out to Jesus before bed.  My girls deserve nothing less than the best.  I certainly don't want to pass all my dysfunction on to them!!  :)  LOL!  I want them to look back on their childhood and remember that their mother was always there for them.  I want them to remember how much their mother loved and loves them.  I want them to learn as I am learning that the best gift that we can give others is the gift of our TIME!!!!  Don't miss out on this precious time that you have and the precious gifts that God has blessed you with.  The Bible does tell us that our children are a gift from Him (Psalm 127:3-5).  


Ann

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Hermie

A few weeks ago, while I was picking out books to read to my girls before bed, I came across the book "Hermie" by Max Lucado.  If you have never read this book, I'll sum it up for you.  Hermie and his friend Wormie cross paths with an ant, a snail, and a lady bug.  All of them have different qualities that they wish that they had.  Each time they ask God why are they so common and not like the others.  God lovingly and gently reminds them that He loves them and He is not finished with them yet.  In the end, Hermie turns into a beautiful caterpillar and sees that God wasn't finished with Him yet (oops!  Did I ruin it for you?  Sorry!).  As always, God's timing is perfect!  He knew that I needed that reminder.  You see, in about 3 days I will turn 40.  I can tell you that I certainly thought that my life would look much different than it does today.  Don't get me wrong, my life is good.  I have everything that I need and more.  But, I really thought that I would be married by now.  All summer I have been seeing people that I mentored in the youth ministry that are anywhere from 15 to 18 years younger than me getting married.  Don't get me wrong.  I am very happy for them, but I find myself a lot like Hermie. "God, why did you make me so common?"  Then of course those thoughts pop into me head...am I not pretty/skinny enough?  Is it my personality?  Yes, I know that is all Satan.  My God tells me in Psalm 45:11 that He is enthralled by my beauty.  In Zephaniah 3:17 I am reminded that He delights in me.  Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, "Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.  He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end."  
This week, I have been spending a lot of time pouring my heart out to God.  My devo today reminded me that our feelings are not sinful, but if we are not careful, they can lead us to sin.  We are to trust God no matter how we feel.  I don't know about you, but I am so glad that I serve a BIG God.  He can take my disappointment or anything else that I throw at Him.  I may not have the big blowout that I was hoping for my birthday and I may still be single, but I am loved!!!  I am loved with an everlasting love!!  I have two beautiful daughters who love me and all my dysfunction!!!  :)  My goal is to focus on praising Him!  There are so many others who are going through so much more than me.  My "disappointment" is nothing compared to the heart ache that others are suffering with right now.  Comparing myself to others does not bring glory to God.  If I keep my focus on what I don't have, I will miss the wonderful blessings that are right in front of me!  Two of those blessings have names, Mia & Lyla.  

"Self-pity is a slimy, bottomless pit" (Jesus Calling).  Besides, what kind of example does that set for my girls?  How am I pointing them towards Jesus?  I am reminded of the old hymn, "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus":

1. • Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
     Look full in His wonderful face,
     And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
     In the light of His glory and grace.
     
     
     Seek Him!  He will never let you down!!!!
     
     
     Ann

Welcome to My Journey

I've never been a blogger, but I have a journal that I use during my quiet times to pray and talk with God.  So many moms out there have been an encouragement to me the past year and a half as I went from zero kids to 2 that were 10 1/2 months apart (fostering to adopt).  Several of these moms have been other moms who blog.  This journey is all new to me.  I recently started thinking...maybe my journey might encourage others.  So, here is my go at it.  I pray that through it all, God will be glorified!!  I have only made it this far because of HIM!!!!  Here are the precious jewels that He has entrusted me with.

Disney World 2012

Some days I wonder why He chose me to be their mom.  I feel so unworthy.  Every day, through these little ones, I am reminded of His grace and love!  I am so glad that His mercies are new every morning!!!  I am amazed that despite my faults, my girls still love me.  Jesus loves me despite my faults too!  Just like they forgive me, so does He!  I pray that my girls will grow up loving and serving Him!  I pray that they will find their significance in Him and Him alone!

I hope that we can encourage each other through this journey!


Ann