Forgiveness

I am by far not an expert on this subject.  In my short 44 years of life I have had a little experience with it though.  I recently had an incident come up in a relationship where I had to chose whether I would forgive or not.  I have a friend that betrayed my confidence and it hurt.  I'm not going to lie.  I was ready to cut off the friendship right there and then.  After I let the shock of what had happened wear off, I took some time to pray and start processing through everything.  While I was processing, my friend came clean about her mistake (which is what I now truly believe it was) and she also reached out individually to those that she had hurt.  The ball was now in my court.  She had admitted her wrong and repented.  What was I going to do now?

Many years ago, I read this book by R.T. Kendall called Total Forgiveness.  Here is a description of the book:  "One of the core messages of the gospel is that of total forgiveness…not only that we can be totally forgiven by God, but also that we must, in turn, totally forgive others. Our culture is bound up in bitterness, resentment, and wallowing in wounds inflicted upon us by others, wounds that we all too easily accept and even cling to!"  There is a quote (that I'll paraphrase) from the book that has always stayed with me.  He said, there is nothing that anyone can do to me, say to me, etc. that can compare to what I have done to Jesus Christ.  If you haven't figured it out by now, I am a hot mess.  I am SO FAR from perfect and I don't have it all together (nor will I ever pretend to).  I know that I have broken Jesus' heart more times then I can count with my actions, words, avoiding him, etc.  Despite all of that, He loves me beyond reason and came to this earth to die for my sins so that I can spend eternity in Heaven some day.

Before you think..."Great!  Ann is talking that Jesus mumbo-jumbo again!"  First, that is who I am.  Secondly, let's all get off our high horses and think about it this way...Not one of us (yes, I am included in this) can say that you have never gossiped, betrayed a confidence, hurt someone, etc. Can anyone of you say that every single one of your relationships are perfect and that you have never screwed up?   I can't!  Now, when you have done those things and you have apologized how have you wanted your apology to be received?  Have you wanted grace to be extended to you?  Well, if you have wanted grace extended to you, why can't you extend that grace to others?

I think that I know my friend's heart and I truly believe her apology to be sincere and I also believe that her intent was not malicious.  It was a mistake.  Can you say that you have never made a mistake.  Ummmm...no!  If you are acting like you've never screwed up something in a relationship then I'll just tell you...you are a big fat liar!!!  Sorry, but let's be real.

My friend and I had a chance to FaceTime recently and to begin mending our relationship.  It breaks my heart that she felt like she didn't deserve to be forgiven.  She obviously has forgotten the dysfunctional mess that I am (we all are).  I also told her that she has done her part.  She came clean and repented.  Groveling, begging for forgiveness, or continually feeling like you are walking on egg shells and having to ask for forgivness is not necessary.  If people choose to not extend grace, that is on them.  I've learned that holding onto your bitterness and unforgiveness only affects you.

Now I know that some of you have been hurt so much more then this little incident that I've described.  Some of you have had physical or emotional abuse.  I am DEFINITELY not an expert in that area, I do know that when you forgive, it does not mean that you have to go back like nothing ever happened.  You may have to extend that grace but remove yourself from the relationship if it is toxic or dangerous.  I have a relationship where so much damage was done.  I have forgiven, but it does not mean that I open up my heart and welcome that person in like nothing ever happened.  I will still be kind and treat that person with respect, but I don't know if I can let them in completely.  One of my pastors did a sermon on forgivenss once and said "everytime you remember, FORGIVE!"  It is a process and not an easy one.  I do know that holding on to the bitterness will only hurt you.  Here are God's thoughts on forgiving:

Matthew 6:14-15

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

1 John 1:9 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Daniel 9:9

The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him;

Mark 11:25

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

These are just a few verses.  When I googled "verses on forgivenss", 16 came up.  I'd say that forgiving is pretty important, wouldn't you?  This is just something that has been on my heart lately. There is so much hatred in our world today.  Teach your kids to love, be kind and be gracious.   What are your thoughts?  

Video Recap of 2016 BMW Dallas Marathon

Here is the video recap from my experience with the BMW Dallas Marathon.  Click the link here.  Be sure to subscribe to my YouTube page for more recaps from races and our crazy family.  😊

The 2016 BMW Dallas Half Marathon Recap

I can't believe that I just finished my THIRD Half Marathon for the year.  If you have been following along with me on my journey, you know that I only started running this past January.  Y'all!  That's insane!

The BMW Dallas Marathon is different from any of the races that I've done this year in my area.  This race and the Hot Chocolate Run were the only races that had Expos that you had to go to pick up your race bibs.  This Expo was even bigger than the Hot Chocolate Run.  There were tons of booths and merchandise to browse.  The girls and I headed there on Saturday afternoon.  I got my bib first.  I was placed in Corral D.  That was the last Corral.  😞  Oh well.  It was what it was.  I got to sign my name on the wall, the girls got to bounce in the bounce house, and we got some free shirts.

My friend Allison had been there a little earlier and found my name on the car.

My girls got to have a sleepover at a friends so that I could prep for the race.  I did not sleep well though.  I was having some major anxiety over this race for some reason.  I talked a little about it here.  To ease my anxiety though, I made sure that everything was laid out and/or charging before I went to bed.  

Since traffic had been horrible the day before getting to the Expo, Allison and I decided to meet up at one of the Dart Train Stations and take the Dart to the race.  That was the best decision ever.  I got up in the morning, got ready, drank my coffee and ate a waffle with Peanut Butter and headed out to meet Allison.

The temperature was in the high 40's (51 by the time the race started).  It was enough to need my daughter's Olaf hat, gloves and a jacket.  Once we got to the Convention Center, we took advantage of using their bathrooms.  We then headed over to gear check.  I really debated on whether I wanted to check my jacket with my stuff or keep it.  I decided to check it and I used my Mylar Blanket until the race started.  Once we checked our bags, we headed over to the Omni Hotel to warm up, relax and use the bathroom one last time. 

At around 7:50 we headed to our Corral to stretch and wait for the race to start.  The race started at 8:05am.  Our Corral started at 8:35.  I took a slow and steady pace the first 3 miles.  I didn't want to waste a lot of energy weaving in and out of people.  It started to clear up around the 5K mark.  At that point I was at a 12:06 pace.  Somehow over the next 3 miles I picked up my pace.  By the time I crossed the 10K mark, I had brought my pace down to 11:48. I am shocked by that because it was around mile 5 that we entered Highland Park and that's where a lot of the hills were.  It was also during this time that the "stitch" in my side that had started right around mile 2 started to really hurt me.  I just kept sucking in my stomach and trying to take deep breaths during my 30 second interval walks.  At the 15K mark, my pace was 11:47.  Around mile 10 the soreness in my legs started to kick in.  It wasn't a pain from an injury, but my legs were just getting tired.  Every time I got to a mile marker I kept telling myself, "you only have ___ miles to go!  You can do anything for ___ miles!"  I promised myself that when I got to mile 12 that I was going to push it as hard as I could.  I wasn't going to hold back.  I didn't care how sore I was.  

The course had some great entertainment.  I loved seeing the homes in Highland Park.  We ran by this home and someone said, "It's pretty sad that their decorations cost more than my house!"  Yep!  It was pretty though!

This guy and his friends passed me along the course.  I'm not sure if he was doing the full or half.  Either way he didn't make excuses.  What is your excuse now?

One of my friends in my running group had posted this week about a lady getting lost on a half marathon course that was on a trail.  I'm glad that they made it very clear which way to go.  I would've cried if I had somehow ended up on the course for the full marathon.

I was feeling a little sorry for myself because I didn't have anyone along the course cheering for me until I heard, "Ms. Romagnolo!"  One of my students was getting his service hours by volunteering and handing out water to the runners!  

I finally got to mile marker 12.  FINALLY!  I texted this picture to my friend Angie to let her know that I was almost done.

I had promised myself that I would push it this last mile, and I did.  Of course as we came around the corner during mile 12 the wind kicked up.  I kept pushing though.  It took everything in me.  When I crossed the finish, I pulled out my phone and checked my time (I had signed up to track myself).  I couldn't believe my eyes!  My time was 02:36:00!  I had shaved off 6 minutes from my first half marathon in September!  SIX MINUTES!!  I am still shocked!  There is no feeling like a PR (personal record)!

After I got my pictures I waited for my friend Allison who was just a little bit behind me.  We got changed (I'm SO glad that I packed extra clothes to change into), got our finishers bag that had pretzels & cookies in it, and then we found the IHop tent!!

I am so glad that I did this race. I'm glad that I didn't let my anxiety or exhaustion win!  It was a good course with plenty of spectators and entertainment throughout.  I also liked how (like the Disney races) I was never alone on the course.  I always had running "buddies".  I'll probably do this one again next year.  The announcer said that 48 states and 20 countries were represented in this race.  If you are looking for a good race then come out next year and try the BMW Dallas Marathon.

What about you?  Did run this race too or have you run it before?  What are your thoughts?  Be sure to check out my YouTube page for the video recap (& other race recaps) that will be coming soon!

Confessions From A Tired Mama

If you haven't figured it out yet, I am one tired mama.  😀  For some reason this has been a really exhausting month.  Maybe it was the excitement of training and prepping for the Wine & Dine Half Marathon.  Then, in the blink of an eye it was over.  This whole school year has been weird.  I am ready for summer all ready.  I don't know why.  Don't get me wrong.  I am loving my students this year.  I am excited to see what our spring will be like.  I know that I am not the only teacher that is feeling the same way right now.  So many of my teacher friends are frustrated with this year.  I can't put my finger on it.  I try not to feel sorry for myself, because I chose this life.  I know of many single moms didn't chose to do this alone.  This is the path (for now) that God has had me follow.  Some moms aren't blessed to have a great support system like I am.  I know that I am not the only tired mama out there.

Tomorrow is my last (& 3rd) half marathon for 2016.  I'm usually so excited for my races.  I'm just not feeling it for this one though.  I'm even dreading it a little.  I'm also feeling some anxiety over it.  13.1 miles seems so daunting right now.  I know that it's because I'm so tired right now.  This past week has been so crazy with only Sunday & Wednesday night off.  The one thing that is making me a LITTLE excited about this race is that I get to run it with my sweet friend Allison and we are both in the same Corral.

I am thankful the weather will be warmer.  It's supposed to be in the 50's.  This past week has been in the 30's.  I am just ready to sleep for like a week.  One more week of school and then we are off for 2 weeks.  I am also ready to get back into my strength training routine.  I have slacked off a little with it this semester.  I still do it at least once a week, but I want to bring it back to where it was last spring.  I'm looking forward to getting started on that this upcoming week.  After my Hot Chocolate Run next week, I'm going to ease up on running for 2 weeks and focus more on my strength training.

I'll be doing a LOT of self motivating talks to myself tomorrow morning.  It's actually when I'm running that I start thinking of different things to blog about.  😀   Running has become very inspiring for me.  It was during some runs over the summer that I came up with our theme for our Pop Show that will be this upcoming spring.  😀  Hopefully I will be equally inspired during tomorrow's run.  I just want to do well.

I am ready for a quiet schedule for awhile too.  My girls and I have been enjoying evenings of quiet and devotional time before bed.  I'm looking forward to normal bedtimes this week and to be back in our routine.

How do you handle it when things get busy and you are exhausted?  Take care of your self mama!  Your kiddos need a healthy you!

Teacher Gift Ideas for Christmas

Are you stumped at what to get your child's teacher for Christmas?  As a teacher myself, I'll tell you that you can't go wrong with gift cards.  Over the past few years, my students and their parents have taken the time to know me.  Some of my favorite gifts from them have been gift cards from Starbucks or Disney.  If you know me at all, you know that I love anything from Disney.  😊  Last week, I was blessed from a group of "Secret Santas" almost every day.  I wrote about it here.  It got me thinking as how I could bless my daughters' teachers this season.  Here are some easy, not over the top expensive ideas that I'm doing this year.

I decided that instead of just one gift to give the last day before break, that we would do little gifts throughout the 2 weeks.  We started yesterday with a small Christmas themed container that we got at the dollar store.  We filled it with Hershey Kisses and then added this note in the container.

On Sunday, I spent the afternoon doing all of my holiday baking.  I made Pizelle Cookies (a favorite that my mom used to make - you need a Pizelle Maker for these), our chocolate covered peanut butter cracker cookies (so easy and yummy), and then pretzel rods dipped in melted caramel and melted chocolate.  I bagged the Pizelles and the Preztel Rods seperately in treat bags that I had gotten from the dollar store.  On Friday, their teachers received a treat bag of either the Pretzel Rods or Pizelles.

Over the weekend and week I had the girls write out things that they loved about their teachers.  Once they were done, I recorded them reading their "letters" to their teachers in front of our Christmas Tree.  I then edited a short video that I uploaded to our YouTube page to send to their teachers.  This is something that I hope will be so meaningful, encouraging and...it was FREE!!!

On Monday and Wednesday they received more treats.  I had bought 2 Christmas themed "candy" dishes.  I used those to put the chocolate covered cookies on.  I got this recipe from a parent probably about 18 years ago.  It is so simple and delish!  Mia even helped me!  Take Ritz crackers and make peanut butter sandwiches with them (that was Mia's job).  Melt chocolate almond bark and then dip the crackers in the melted chocolate.  Place them on a tray with parchment paper and place them in the fridge to harden.  That's it!  So easy!

Friday's gift included a wrap around scarf that we got at Target, Christmas pencils (because what elemetary teacher can't use more pencils) and a glue stick (again, a need for the classroom) and stickers.

That's it!  I'm big on getting people gifts that I KNOW that they will enjoy or things that I KNOW that they could use.  For teachers, I try to get them supplies for their classroom whenever we get them gifts (expo markers, glue sticks, post its, hand sanitizer, pencils, stickers, paper clips, highlighters, tissues, etc.)  Not sure what they need?  Just ask!  I usually will send an email right before Teacher Appreciation Week and ask them what they are in need of for their classroom.  Like I said earlier, you can't go wrong with gift cards too.  😊

Christmas With Our Elves 2016

I decided that this year I would document our lives with our Elves on the Shelf in my blog.  That way I can not only share ideas with all of you, but I can have a reminder for me of what they did this year. 😊 Our Elves are named Eugene and Isabelle.  Eugene was first given to me by a sweet parent in December of 2011. 😂 He did not officially come to visit our family until Christmas of 2012.  The girls named him Eugene because they were really into the movie Tangled at the time.  No complaints from Mommy, seeing that Rapunzel is my favorite Princess!  Last Christmas (2015), Eugene brought a friend whom was named Isabelle by Lyla.  I will also add a side note here.  I have never believed in using Santa or Elves as a tool to threaten or bribe a child to be good. Our Elves are just something fun to add to the season.   But, if the Elves forget to move and the kids happened to be naughty the night before...I'm just sayin'....

If you remember from this post, I've decided to keep it simple this year.  Normally, our elves make a return right after Thanksgiving.  It wasn't happening this year.  They were going to come back on December 1st, but Mommy was all snug in her bed under the covers when she remembered.  Not.Happening.  They decided to come back for a visit on the morning of the 3rd.  Follow along for our journey with our Elves this month. I'll update this post on a weekly basis and then let you know.  😊

December 3rd:
Eugene was greeted with lots of LOUD squeals and screams of joy from Mia & Lyla.  I'm pretty sure that Lyla spent close to 5 minutes talking to them!

December 4th:
Just hanging around...

December 5th:
Lyla - "Mommy! Why didn't the elves move last night?"
Me - in my head "Oh crap!" Out loud - "I don't know.  Maybe they liked that spot?  Oh wait, Lyla...do you remember how you behaved at bedtime last night?"
Lyla - in a sad voice, "yes."
Me - "Maybe that's why they didn't move."
Lyla - "Did they lose their magic?"
Me - "No, but I'm sure that they were too sad to move."
Whew!  Dodged that one!  There is now a daily reminder in Mommy's phone...

December 6th:
Eugene and Isabelle obviously forgot our rule about no TV during the school week.

December 7th:
Bubble Baths are the best!  Lyla wanted to eat the "bubbles."  Ummm...no.

BMW Dallas Half Marathon

My last half Marathon for 2016 is coming up this Sunday!  Stay tuned for a recap after.  If you would like to track me, click on this link.

I'm hoping that my time improves from my first half marathon in September.  At this point, I also just want to get through it.  My longest run since the runDisney Wine & Dine Half Marathon Weekend has been 9.2 miles.  Wish me luck!!  :)

Stress Over the Holidays

There are now 23 days left until Christmas.  Fall and Christmas are usually my favorite times of the year.  I love fall because of all things pumpkin.  I love Christmas for everything that is associated with it:  the lights, trees, decorations, Christmas Concerts/Shows, the music and of course celebrating Jesus' birthday with my girls.

This year has been different.  If you read my last post, you know that I was in a weird funk earlier this week.  This whole school year has been a little weird.  There have been so many great parts too.  I love my students, I ran my first half marathon, I got to run in my first runDisney race, my daughters are doing really well in school, etc.  We haven't had to deal with sickness or the loss of a loved one or a relationship like many of my friends have this year.  Life hasn't been hard for us. It's just been weird.  

For some reason, I just became very overwhelmed with the upcoming holidays and life in general this past week.  I wasn't looking forward to any part of it.  We are headed to Disney in 16 days and I am not even that excited.  This should really tell you that I've been overwhelmed.  Our elves haven't made their appearance yet.  They were going to come back last night, but mommy (me) was in bed under the warm covers when she remembered.  They stayed in the closet.  I'm hoping that they come out tonight.  I haven't designed or ordered our Christmas cards yet.  If you know me, there might have been a year when they were mailed out the day before Thanksgiving.  

For the past 11 months I had been saving every penny so that we could participate in the Wine & Dine Half Marathon.  I had saved up money so that we could upgrade to Annual Passes when we got there.  I knew that we'd get our use out of them with us driving back to Florida for Christmas, the Princess Half Marathon and then using our DVC this summer.  I was stressing because the girls weren't going to have lots of presents under the tree because I've been saving for all of this.  

A few of my friends had to remind me to slow down and keep it simple.  Here is the reality...Christmas isn't about gifts.  Months ago, I had ordered them scooters from Walmart just for Christmas.  I also decided that on Christmas morning they were going to open a box of kitty toys from Santa with a note saying that they could go pick out a kitty when they got back to Texas.  Over the weekend, a family member was asking what the girls wanted for Christmas.  I asked Mia and she said...a scooter and a cat.  I'm not kidding!  Thank you Jesus!  A few days before Christmas break, our Elves are going to leave a note saying that Santa is sending them to Disney for Christmas.  All of this is enough!  I need to keep that in perspective.  I've been trying to teach my girls that Christmas is about family and our little traditions and not about gifts.  

I've decided that we are going to keep it as simple as possible this holiday season.  If we have time or energy to do something extra, then we will.  If not, it's okay.  Today's society can get us so stressed about having to keep up with the Joneses and be the Queen of all things Pinterest.  I've decided that I'm going to be a rebel.  I'm not going to conform to society's expectations.  Our Elves will show up sometime this weekend.  They probably won't be as mischievious this year and they won't be bringing gifts leading up to Christmas.  It's okay.  My girls don't need all of that.  They need their mommy to be present and sane.  They get to go to one of their favorite places this Christmas and to see their Aunt, Uncle, Poppy, Nana, cousins and friends.  That is what matters.  

Don't let yourself get overwhelmed this holiday season.  Take time every day to focus on your blessings.  Spend this holiday season focusing on what matters the most.  How do you get throught the holidays?

BTW...if you see my girls before Christmas please don't tell them about their Christmas gifts.  They are ALL a surprise (yes, even Disney).  

Dear Secret Santas

Dear Secret Santas,

I know who a few of you are, but since I'm not sure of everyone that has been involved I thought that I would write you a letter in hope that you would get to read it someday.  If you only knew where I was emotionally at the beginning of this week, you would understand why my heart is so much lighter and overflowing today.

It's been a long few months.  The week before Thanksgiving break I went from working over 60 hours and barely seeing my children, to suddenly seeing them 24/7.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my children, but this mama was TIRED!  That week off wasn't enough.  I woke up on Monday morning bitter that I had to come to work. It wasn't because I don't like my job.  I absolutely LOVE my job.  I was just bitter that I had to work at all.  Ha!  Poor me, I know.  I was sick of having to make breakfast, lunch and dinner for 3 people every day.  I'm sick of not having time to clean and be organized or that when I am home I am just being too tired to do it.  

Usually once or twice a year I go through a little depression of sorts over my singleness.  I usually have a lot of questions for God like, "I know that you chose me to be Mia & Lyla's mommy, but why am I having to do it by myself?" or "How come so and so gets to be in a relationship but I don't?"  I always come back to my senses.  I would so much rather wait for the right man then hop from relationship to relationship.  Not only would the hopping damage my heart, but think of what it would do to my girls.  While I wait, I can model for my girls and for you what it means to be a strong, independent woman.  I can remind myself and you that our significance isn't found in relationships or being married.  Relationships don't complete us.  They compliment us.  There is only ONE that will complete us.  God obviously thinks that I can handle my life like it is, so I will continue to trust Him and try to grow through my journey.  

This was my mental state early in the week.  To say that I was in a funk is an understatement.  I mean, I haven't even been excited that we are going back to Disney in a few weeks.  You know that there is something wrong with me if that happens.  Ha!

Then out of nowhere, a friend offered to bring me dinner on Monday night.

The blessings continued because then every day the rest of the week little treats began appearing on my desk at school.  I have felt loved by students before, but I have never had this happen to me before in my almost 20 years of teaching.

Today, my heart is overflowing with joy and love because of you.  Thank you for your kindness and your servant's heart.  Thank you for loving and accepting me as the hot mess that I am.  Thank you for allowing yourselves to be used this week to bless me.  I am so humbled by your love and kindness this week.  I only hope and pray that my daughters will grow up to be just like you someday (oh and thank you for loving my girls too).  I am also praying that they will have a group of friends like you!

Be sure to thank your parents.  They have raised kids that have big hearts and kids that do not act like they are entitled.  We need more adults and kids like you in this world.  I'm so glad that you will be the leaders and role models for my children someday.  

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  You have blessed this weary teacher this week.  

Disney's Wine & Dine Half Marathon Weekend 2016-The Half Marathon

My last post left us with having dinner at Ohana's at the Polynesian Resort. After dinner I headed back to the resort to get to bed at a decent hour.   Thanks to Daylights Savings, we got an extra hour of sleep.  They say that the third time is a charm.  We got to the race early this time and got to enjoy some pre-race fun (see my video recap for some fun clips).  We even got a pre-race picture with Chefs Goofy & Donald.

We eventually headed to our Corral (we were in G for this race).  Angie and I decided to try the same thing that we did for the 10K.  She would run ahead and hold out spot in line for the character pictures.  I caught up to her quickly before we even got to mile1.    They had a character spot for the Country Bears about a half of a mile into the race.  We ran into some other friends there too.

After this picture, we were off again.  Angie is so good at weaving in and out of others.  I just don't have the energy for that.  I just couldn't keep up with her this race.  I was starting to stress out about it.  I kept missing her at character stops and then I wouldn't even stop for them because I was trying to catch up to her.  I missed some good photo ops because of that.  I eventually had to give myself a pep talk.  I paid a lot ( A LOT) of money to do this race and I was too busy stressing out about trying to catch up with my friend instead of enjoying the experience.  I finally texted Angie and pretty much said "have a great run and see you at the finish".  I wanted to be able to slow down and get video footage so that others could see what a runDisney race was like.  I wanted to be able to stop for pictures with characters.  That was the best decision that I could make.  I got some good photos and videos and I was able to enjoy the rest of the race.  

The one down side to this race was the lack of park time. The only parks that we ran through were Animal Kingdom and Future World in Epcot. I would've loved to have more park time.  I also was not a fan of the many ramps that we had to run up because they were at a slant and my knees were starting to hurt.  Note to self...run at the top of the slant so that it is easier on your knees.  

Overall though, I loved all of the races at Disney.  I loved that I was never alone during the races.  They were so much fun.  As I was icing my legs after this race I was so sad because I wasn't going to be running another race the next day.  I am all the more excited now to run in the Princess Half Marathon in February.  

Did you run in the Wine & Dine Half Marathon?  What were your favorite parts of the race?

Be sure to check out my YouTube page for video recaps of the races.  If you'd like to read more about the runDisney Races, check out my friends at Joyful Miles and their YouTube page.  Until next time...